With the first awakened breath I took this morning came the realization that the long funk I have found myself in for the last four years is over.  There was nothing particular about this morning, it started off the same way it always does, with the kids fighting and raging negative attitudes all around.  As I took a deep breath I imagined my life happy, perfect and full of peace.   This is when it hit me,  I can live my life any way I wish to.  I can live as though I already have everything I ever imagined or want, and I can be happy right now. 

I found that in the last four years I have been living in the past.  I have kept myself in an emotional state of panic and despair over all of the trials I have faced in the past.  I say it so often but I realized today that I have not been living for today or even this moment.  Occasionally I do when I catch myself, but some things become such a habit that it is hard to notice the subconscious things that we do each day.  

Changing your life, your thoughts, your actions is such hard work.  I do believe that it is all well worth it though.  Growing up I was always taught that I can not change my life because God already has it all planned out.  That it is God’s will for people to suffer, that bad things will always happen to me because that is the way that God wants it to be.  What a crock.  I have to wonder how many other people have been taught that this is truth?  How many people believe that their lives can not be fulfilling and happy because God does not wish it for them?  It is really a sad situation when we believe that things are always going to be the same and nothing will ever change. 

As human beings we have one of the most valuable gifts, the gift of free will.  We have the ability to choose how we want to live our lives.  We are not stuck in some rut because that is the way it is suppose to be.  We have the choice to look around our world and choose between the millions of choices that we have each and every moment.  Our life is ours to decide, we can make it into the most amazing life if we choose to do so.  It takes some hard work but if you are willing to put in the time and effort it will be reflected in the life that we live. 

About four years ago I was told that I had sever depression and that I would have to be on a ton of medication for the rest of my life.  I was never willing to accept that opinion, but I kept thinking about it and that it must be true because each time I would barely pull myself out of it something would happen to put me right back where I started.  I realize that this was MY choice now.  I allowed it to happen.  I was depressed out of ignorance and not knowing that there was a better way to live and think.  I was in the dark and didn’t know how to find the light.  I often wonder how many people feel the same way and live like I was? 

I now know that life doesn’t have to be so horrible.  We make the rules and choose our life, no one else.  It really is amazing to know that my life is mine alone and that I have been given the power to determine how I want to live and what I want.  I honestly believe that God wants everyone to live a life full of joy, love and prosperity.  It’s up to us to break free from the chains that bind us and have kept us from living the life we want and deserve. 

    If you were to ask me if I am happy with my life, the likely answer would be no.  I have so many excuses.  Finances are a big one, then there are the things that haunt me from my past.  Bad feelings for those who I trusted who have hurt me, bad experiences, relationships and friendships that have gone wrong, I have a whole list of reasons why I can not allow myself to be happy right now.   I often wonder if I could be happy if everything was okay and my life was perfect.  I realize that the answer would be no as well.  I know that there are many people who are the same way, I am not alone.  How many times have you thought…. If I could just get this or have that I would be happy?  I can almost bet that once you do reach your goal you may be happy for a while, but then another thought creeps in and you are yet again very miserable with your life. 

   I blame the media and our culture for these feelings.  We live in a very ungrateful society, where we always want more.  We want bigger and better, we want our neighbors to envy us.  We want to be bankrupt and have all of the material possessions to prove that we are just as good as the Jones’.  We want it all!  We want to live our dreams and the dreams of everyone we know.  We want everyone in the world to compare themselves to us, that way we don’t have to compare ourselves with anyone else.  This way we can be comfortable with who we are and what we are about, or can we? 

   It really is a vicious cycle, a cycle that has to end somewhere.  If we don’t end it, then it goes on and on and so does the greed and hate that it creates.  Don’t get me wrong, I like to have nice things and have my needs met, but do I need it to be happy?  I am learning to say no.  I am learning to find happiness right now in the simple things in life.  The simpler they are the happier I am learning to be.  It’s a hard thing to learn, but I have found that being thankful for what I do have is the key to happiness. 

    I have given this subject a lot of thought lately.  In April my sister passed away, and I found myself wanting more time with her.  Just another conversation, more time, another chance to tell her how much I love her, I wasn’t ready to let go.  I have struggled with my feelings.  I have went from being angry, hurt, finding some sort of peace to just find myself sad again.  Then I realized that I wouldn’t be happy with any of these things, because in the end she would have to leave at some point and I would never be ready for that.  It’s so hard to deal with the feeling of loss.  I now see that the key to dealing with it effectively is to be thankful for the time that I did have with her.  I am grateful for all of the laughs that we shared and all of the fights that taught me something about myself.  I am also learning how to be happy knowing that she isn’t gone and that she is always with me, just not in the way that I am use to.  I am finding that the more grateful I am the easier it is to accept and take responsibility for current situations. 

    They say life is hard, but I am learning that the only thing that makes it hard is us.  It’s hard because we don’t realize all the blessings, we don’t take the time to be thankful for all the wonderful things in our lives.   Life is wonderful, and we have so many things to be grateful for.  I do believe that when we can learn  to be happy within our present circumstances we can then move on in life.  I think that this is the secret key we are all looking for to pull ourselves out of the many ruts we find ourselves in. 

    Take a look at your life and count your many blessings.   Live without the excuses, take responsablity and love your life right now as it is.  No excuses, no regrets, enjoy your life, it really is wonderful!

For me it seems simple enough, but what is it about being kind to others that most people don’t understand? Why is it so hard for people to be nice to others? Why are there always people around who are not happy unless they are creating misery in the lives of others?

Yesterday a couple of neighbors had walked past me while I was outside. As they walked by they whispered, pointed, laughed and stared. I must say at first this made me angry, especially since they are both grade school teachers and I feel that they should know better. My first reaction was to say something mean to them just so I could shake the bad feeling that their behavior gave me. Then I sat and really thought just for a moment, and I remained silent. I understand that everyone has a battle that they face each and every day, so it is important to be kind no matter what may be going on in my life at the time. Even though I understand this basic concept, it still frustrates me to know how many people just don’t get it.

I actually was watching a few things on TV today. I am becoming more and more aware of how selfish and cruel people are. People are more concerned about the bad things happening in the world then they are about the good things. It’s almost as if they flock around when something bad happens, but how many of us really initiate something good in the world?? Why is that?

I don’t care what religion you are, what your beliefs are, where you come from, the color of your skin, or the many other things that people tend to judge, all I care about is that you are human just like me. You are deserving of love, kindness, and a good life just like each and every other person on this fine planet. Life isn’t about me, it’s not about you, it’s not about the rich or the poor, it’s about each and everyone of us as a whole and the great things that we can accomplish together.

Can you imagine what our world would look like if each and every person put aside their differences and were kind to each other? It seems so simple, yet so many people would rather live with hate and violence. I just don’t understand how we can take something so simple and make it so hard. I think we need to start some kind of kindness movement .

The human mind and thought process is an amazing thing. It is at the core of each person, and makes that person who they are in this moment. It is conditioned by years of experiences, and based on our emotions about those experiences it creates patterns in our choices. Our choices based on these thoughts and feelings are what shape our entire lives. It controls every aspect of life. The great thing about this is that it makes life what it is, but we can control our thoughts and change our world just by changing the way we think.

I have talked to so many beautiful people who are unhappy with life. They are unhappy with their relationships, jobs, financial situations, living situations…. the list goes on. The world around us has told us that we have to have certain things in order to be happy. We have to have the right car, the right house, the perfect mate, perfect children, live in certain areas, these are just a few of many perceptions that have been forced on us by clever and cunning advertising executives. I have learned one thing about happiness, if I am unhappy at this moment; I am going to be unhappy no matter what I do. I could have all the money in the world and the best of the best and would still be unhappy with my life.

It’s the thought of being discontent with life that causes unhappiness. As humans we have a tendency to think about all the things that makes us unhappy, and we dwell on these thoughts until they fester and make us miserable. We also have the ability to change this as well. From childhood we have been conditioned to think certain ways because of events that have taken place not only in our lives but in the lives of our caregivers as well. It is this conditioning that has created the way we look at life and the choices we make; it creates the very core of our being.

I have several friends who have been burned in relationships. They have reached the conclusion that all members of the opposite sex are the same. It has reached the point where I think that they date just to prove this theory. They don’t give anyone a chance, if the person that they are with shows just one similarity to someone they have dated in the past, then they are just like that person. They actually set themselves up. They don’t try to do their part; with each new relationship they enter it half heartedly. It is because of the thought that they have that ALL members of that sex group are the same that their relationships fail. What we think about things in life is what determines the choices that we make and whether we will fail or succeed in that area in our lives.

We can not change our past experiences, we can however change our thoughts about those experiences. Just because something didn’t work out the first or second time doesn’t mean that we should just hang it up. If we start thinking that it can not be done, or that if we try again we will get the same results, then we are automatically allowing ourselves to fail. Have you ever watched a child who honestly believes that they can do something? They have a certain determination about them. They won’t even accept help; they will keep trying until they succeed in whatever they are doing. Thomas Edison said “if we all did what we are capable of, we would astound ourselves”. We are all capable of amazing things if we only believe in ourselves.

If in this moment you are unhappy with you life, I challenge you to take a look at the thoughts that are creating that unhappiness in your life. I have been really bad about this in my own life. I thought that if I could only have this job or that income, this apartment or house, these friends I would be happy. I found that because of that way of thinking that I missed all of the wonderful and beautiful things in my life right now. If you stare at the closed door long enough you don’t notice all of the other things that are happening around you. Right now in this moment each one of us has everything that we need to be happy. Happiness is not a trophy for having what we think we want in life, it’s not a destination, it is an attitude that we are all capable of having right now.

One of the most powerful and freeing statements I have found for my own life is this~ Don’t let someone else’s opinion become your reality. Think about it for a while, and draw your own conclusions.

The whole point of this blog is to inspire the thought process in others. In this moment be happy, who knows if we will have another one.

I have never been one who has accepted love and kindness very easily. For most of my childhood I was always told that I was not capable of being loved and that God didn’t even love me. Then on top of that most of my adult life has been spent being screwed over by family and close friends, then they would have the nerve to tell me that I was a user. Up until recently I have found it very difficult to accept that I am okay and that it is okay for people to be kind to me and love me.

This past weekend was really hard for me. A complete stranger showed me kindness and I had the hardest time accepting it. It created a domino effect and I learned a lot from it. It was because of this one act of kindness that the lives of at least 10 people were touched. It opened up my whole world. Thanks to this kind person we were able to go visit my husbands biological father whom he had not seen in over 38 years. There has been a lot of bad feelings, but his health is diminishing. It made him so happy to be able to see my husband and our kids. It made my husband come to terms with past events. The kids were able to see their grandparents and meet a  grandfather, aunt and uncle that they had not known previously. From this one simple act of kindness I learned that it’s okay to accept love and to allow people to love me. I learned that when you give of yourself and are kind it has the potential to touch the lives of many people. Most importantly, love doesn’t need a reason to find a way into your life, there are no strings attached when it is pure.

After this weekend, here are all of the wonderful lessons I have learned. It’s okay to love and be loved, and it’s important for your mental health to love yourself just the way that you are. One kind act can change the world and the lives of those that you touch. Some people think that there needs to be a reason for others to love them, I say there is no reason for people not to be kind and love each other. As for me, I am still working on accepting love but I am getting closer to where I need to be. It’s all a work in progress but at least I am progressing.

There was once the most beautiful satin blanket.  Every color of the rainbow was incorporated into this blanket.  It was truly the most beautiful thing that ever existed.  For reasons unknown the owner of the blanket decided to share this magnificent piece of beauty with everyone.  The owner was careful to make sure every piece was the same size and shape, you see this was a gift and the owner wanted everyone to be happy and blessed by it.  After the long and tedious task of sizing and cutting the blanket, the owner began to hand out this marvelous gift.

At first the people who received this gift were happy with their gift.  Some took their piece of the blanket and made the most beautiful and amazing works of art that had ever been seen.  Some held on to their piece like a beloved childhood blanket and took it everywhere with them.  There were others who had seen that some of their fellow recipients had tattered theirs and so they shared their piece of the blanket to strengthen their friends piece.  Still there were others who held tight to theirs, they put it up on a shelf worried that something terrible would happen to it.  There were even some who stared at theirs for so long that they were not satisfied with their own.  They wanted a bigger piece, they wanted more so they began to fight for the pieces of the blanket.   There were even those who put their piece of the blanket into a glass case and theorized as to why they were given such a magnificent gift of love.

The blanket was a gift of love, what the people did with their piece was their own decision to make.  When the blanket would become so tattered and worn the owner would take it back for a short time to repair it and make it just as beautiful as the day it was given, all the people had to do was ask.   The owner of the blanket never once said what could be done with the gift and never put any limitations on it nor were there any strings attached.  It was a gift of love.

I am going to make this as simple as I possibly can.  The blanket and it’s owner is our Creator.  Each piece that was given is the gift of life and love that we have each been given. We are all made out of the same beautiful fabric and what we do with it is entirely up to us. We don’t have to worry or wonder why this gift was given, all we have to do is make the most beautiful piece of art out of it that we can.  We can share our gift with others so that they can see the beautiful gift that they were given.  We can hoard our gift and keep it safe, but remember, if anything happens to our gift our Creator is happy to mend it and make it new again if we only ask.  If our gift gets tattered or torn it won’t be taken back and burned, but with love and understanding it will be made whole again.  Many may differ with me on this thought, but I feel that what we do with our gift should be a reflection of love and appreciation for what we have received, after all it was given to us out of love in the first place.  I know for me I want to share my gift and show others the love that their gift was given in.

This is my simple view of life.  It’s only complicated if we make it complicated.

Growing up I often heard the phrase “I am so disappointed” often. People are often disappointed by the ones they love, their jobs, or their lives. Disappointment comes from our own inaccurate assumptions and expectations. We become disappointed because we don’t see the true nature of our situation or the people in our lives. We rarely stop to see the big picture. Right now everything is as it should be… perfectly imperfect.

We live in a busy world, full of busy people. It’s when we get so busy that we don’t take the time to see situations or people as they really are that creates the problem. We want everything and everyone to be the way WE think they should be. We paint these perfect pictures in our mind and when things and people do not replicate that picture we become disappointed. We really need to stop and take notice of the true nature of event, people and situations before we form any sort of opinion. The first step to realizing the true nature of the world and people around us it to find out what our true nature is.

One of my favorite quotes is by Ghandi it says “you must be the change that you wish to see in the world.” Even when we open our eyes and wake up from our sleep things may still not be perfect, and nothing will ever be perfect. We are all evolving, growing and and realizing new truths. Don’t set out to change the world, or the people you love; instead change your world and your own ideas. This is where the acceptance and love part comes in. As people we are all imperfect, we all have our own short comings. The only thing left within our power is to love and accept them just the way that they are, no one likes to change the way they are to gain the love of the people around them.

While I am talking about acceptance, I want to stress how important it is to accept who we are in the present moment. In my life there are always things I want to change, but it is a work in progress and as long as I am moving forward and working towards my goals I have to accept who I am right now in this moment. We all want to love and be loved but the most important love is one that we give ourselves. If we don’t love and accept who we are then how can anyone else?

In a nutshell this is what I have learned in my life. I am the only one who can disappoint me, it is because of my own assumptions and expectations that I become disappointed. If I want more love, truth, or friendship in my life I need to become these things first by doing this I become the change I wish to see in my world. We are all changing and evolving and I need to be more accepting and loving of the people in my world, including myself. After learning these tough lessons I have come to the conclusion that the world really is perfectly imperfect.