I came to the realization not too long ago that I was just existing.  I was doing just enough to get by each day and nothing more.  There was no joy in life anymore, things that I use to love were now annoying me.  I realized that I was just living waiting to die, well if you can call that living.  Just existing is no way to make it through life.  Not only are we depriving ourselves of happiness, but we are depriving everyone around us of our talents.  Where would we be if Ford, Edison, or Bell had just existed and never did anything to fulfill their life’s desires?  See where I am going with this?

Then when I got back on track to where I needed to be to start loving life, I wondered how many people do the same thing? How many people go to work, come home, eat, and call it a day?  How many people don’t have dreams?  How many people don’t know their life’s purpose and don’t care to?  What are we missing out on?  What are you missing out on by not fulfilling your dreams?  So many questions, so little who want to work to find the answers within themselves. 

There is a huge identity and self esteem crisis in the world right now.  Many people believe that they are here to fulfill other peoples dreams by working a low wage job and making other people more and more money.  They have been brainwashed to believe that they don’t have a real purpose or that they can not possibly be smart enough, brave enough, strong enough, beautiful enough, privileged enough to carry out anything other than what they are doing.  By believing this they are settling for mediocrity and just passing the time until they die.  There are so many people who believe that they are not deserving, this couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Inside each one of us is a someone great just waiting to be awakened.  You, I, We deserve to be great, to be happy and feel fullfilled.  Everyone who can benifit from our accomplishments deserves the chance to experience what we have to offer.  Life is to amazing, YOU are to amazing to live to die.  What are you doing to reach your full potential?  What is keeping you from reaching it? 

On occasion I have the pleasure of meeting people who have all the answers.  They really are very interesting to talk to, and they have a lot of life experiences that validate their beliefs.  I have no qualms what so ever with the all knowing individual…. anymore.  I do make a point to briefly describe my beliefs and let them know that these are my beliefs and they will stay my beliefs.

Now in the past the all knowing individual would upset me.  I have narrowed it down to a couple of reasons why this would bother me.  First, it is all about the ego is it not?  We all like to believe that we are right and anything that someone else believes hurts our ego because we may not be right.  As human beings we also tend to fear things that we do not understand.  Anything outside of our belief system is therefore deemed as bad or evil.  The easiest way to clear up this misunderstanding is to do a little research and learn about what we fear. 

I have reached a point in my life where my beliefs are my own.  I own them, and am currently awaiting the patent on them…. ok so that last part was a joke.  What I am saying is that I am comfortable with what I believe, and who I am based on those beliefs. 

I accept people for who they are as well and what they believe.  In the end we will all know what the truth is anyway, so it just does not matter who believes what.  Society has always placed an emphasis on religious beliefs and who is right and who is wrong.  I say enough already.  We all come from the same place so to me that makes us all brothers and sisters, and we need to start treating each other like the family humanity was meant to be.  Besides religion is based on various things that different men thought were true, spirituality is knowing and feeling the connection between us and our Divine Creator.  

We worry to much about what everyone else believes or thinks.  As long as we treat each other with love and kindness and live a good life, what does it matter what others believe?  Everyone is a human being capable of loving and feeling…. to me this is all that matters.  Nothing else is near as important as knowing that people are just that, people who need love in their lives just like we do.  So it is okay to have different beliefs, and it is okay to love others with different beliefs, it is even okay to have friends with different beliefs, just remember that they deserve to be respected no matter what they decide to believe.  So next time you feel like arguing about the origin of God or who is right or wrong, remember that the people you are about to arguing with are just like you.   

  I am going to warn you, this is not going to be the most elegantly written blog I have ever wrote.  It may not even make sense.  With only a couple of hours of sleep in the last 48 and all the excitement from the morning, my poor head is swimming.  Swimming can be good though, at least it’s not drowning…lol. 

  First, I feel the need to explain how I arrived at my new found attitude.  For the longest time, I have been helping friends.  It seems that whenever anyone needs anything, I am the first person that they turn to.  I never heard from them unless they were at a low point in their lives.  I have always seen this as a bad thing.  Let’s face it, we all need someone to talk to when things are bad, but we also want to hear from our friends when things are good as well.  I finally realized that maybe this was my calling in life.  It comes so naturally to me, and I love people so why not make it a career choice.  Sometimes I wish that God was not so subtle, this whole time he has given me a gift that I only used occasionally.  Sometimes a good slap would help, and even then would I really have seen the bigger picture? 

  After making this wonderful discovery, I decided to look into being a life coach.  I have found all the information that I could on the Internet and will soon be looking at the library.  I learned a lot in such a short amount of time.  This is where the new attitude comes in.  I decided that I didn’t want it to take a long time to learn and realize anything else that was being taught to me through the things going on in my life.  I thought it would be a good idea to accept any new challenges in my life and face them with an open heart and mind and with a very big smile on my face. 

  Let the learning begin!  The hubby is out of town for a couple of days and we only have one car.  I had done everything that I needed to do before he left so that he could have the car.  Wouldn’t you just know that something would come up…lol.  First thing this morning the kids missed the bus, it actually came early and also left early.  We were half way to the bus stop when another parent had stopped and let us know that we had missed it.  The same parent had also offered to give the kids a ride to school since they were aware that I had no vehicle.  This was a miracle to me, even though I didn’t know this person very well.  I did make sure that both kids had our home phone number and also added my cell phone number so that they could call me so I wouldn’t worry.  It never hurts to be to careful right?  Well they did call and let me know that they were at school and everything was okay.  BIG relief!

  Now I had to set out on another adventure.  I had to walk to the bank to get a money order for the rent.  The bank is at least two miles from where we live, so I had to walk four miles today.  It doesn’t sound that bad, but when you are as out of shape as I am it does make a big difference.  Another thing that doesn’t help is my fear of being on foot that far away from home in a new place where only a couple of people know me.  I am use to small town living and have acquired a fear for larger areas.  I have been to every major city and have seen things that most people don’t see in a life time, yet I am still afraid.  I think being a parent makes you paranoid sometimes. 

  So to make a long story short, the sky didn’t fall.  There were no earthquakes, no drive by shootings, nothing but smiling faces and people waving. (I didn’t know that they did that in big cities…lol)  I learned that I need to use the skills that I learned when I was younger.  Just because I have added a few years since then and have a few kids now, the value of those lessons are still the same.  I have learned that I have a lot of unreasonable fears.  I also learned that if I take one step at a time and keep looking ahead I will make it to my destination.  I want to add that this is a very valuable life lesson, it can be applied to anything that we do in life.  Obstacles are the things that we see when we take our eyes off of our destination.  If we move forward without thinking about what might or could happen, then when they do happen we deal with it barely noticing that it is something that would have crumbled us before.  Life is full of surprises and it truly is an adventure.  I would advise anyone to grab a hold of it and enjoy the wild and crazy ride. 

I never thought I would hear myself call anything on earth paradise, but as my thoughts and feelings change I can feel my entire being begin to evolve.  I feel like the caterpillar who has been in a cocoon way to long and is starting to break out of it’s shell.  As my wings break through I can see the light of a brand new world enter into mine.  I can feel the excitement build up in the depths of my soul.

Paradise isn’t about the landscape and what part of this great world you live in, it’s a feeling and entirely new way of thinking.  Although I must admit, for me the palm trees and the smell of the ocean near by does help.  At the same time, you can live in your ideal area but you will never find paradise if you don’t find it in yourself first.  It’s about being one with your surroundings and everyone that you come in contact with. 

In the past year I have read and heard the phrase “change your mind and you will change the way you see things”.  I thought that I understood what this meant but today I see and feel it inside myself.  Today, for the first time, I see the world as being perfect and everyone and everything is right where it needs to be.  I no longer feel the need to change the world, it’s already perfect.  We are all right where we need to be at this moment.  The feeling that something is wrong with your life or with the world is a reflection of what you are thinking.  If you think that something is a certain way, you will only see evidence that will confirm these thoughts. 

It’s all an illusion.  It doesn’t matter how you feel or think, it’s an ever changing illusion.  As we change our thoughts our world changes and we enter into another illusion.  I say this because everything in our world changes depending on how we look, feel, and think about it.  For me it’s like standing on a bridge suspended above the water.  For some odd reason I am terrified of bridges.  When I look down from the bridge I see an accident waiting to happen, however, if I step away from the bridge and look at it from a distance it is the most beautiful piece of architectural art that I have ever seen.  I have learned that to make it over the bridge without panicking, I have to see it as being beautiful and not the death trap that I saw before.  Change the way you think about something and you change it’s whole meaning and how you see it. 

Today was a day that I had been dreading.  It’s been a year now since my sister passed away.  I had been looking at it as the day I lost my sister, so naturally I wasn’t happy about the day.  When I woke up this morning I had a completely different perspective.  I have talked to a very dear friend about this and after a lot of thought and working at changing my thoughts about it, I finally reached a different point of view.  Today is not the day that I lost my sister, she was never lost and has been right here with me the whole time.  It’s not the anniversary of her death but a new kind of birthday.  A year ago she left this existence to enter into a new and more perfect state of being.  It is no longer a day of loss but a day to celebrate her new perfect birthday.  

It’s amazing how you can change the way you think about one thing and it changes the rest of your thinking and how you see the world around you.  After thinking about it for a bit this morning and all of last night, I was ready to start my day.  As I walked outside to take the kids to the bus stop I saw everything differently.  The tree’s are greener and perfectly crooked, the grass smelled sweeter, the flowers were more beautiful, and I realized that I live in paradise.  I saw the world for the first time as perfect, I feel like a child again learning everything for the first time.  What an amazing feeling of freedom!  I now realize that I can make my world anything I want it to be, I am no longer a victim of circumstance.  I am the creator of my own life, can you imagine the possibilities??  Now I just need to decide what I want to do….lol. 

Welcome to paradise!!!   

Reality T.V.!!!  Tonight was a late night, and I noticed there really wasn’t a whole lot on the boob tube.  There are a lot of reality shows and out of curiosity I decided to watch one.  I have never really cared for them to begin with, but I wanted to know what all the hype was and why they have been on for so long.  I didn’t get those answers, but I did finally figure out what is wrong with our society.

The show that I did see really disgusted me and I would much rather have my eyes gouged out with a hot spoon.  What is wrong with these people and what is wrong with our society to think that this is entertainment.  It’s nothing more than trash.  Give an ignorant and uneducated woman some fake boobs and tight clothes and they think they own the world.  These people are manipulating, lying, cheating, arrogant, unsophisticated, mean, destructive individuals.  With such an attractive personality and character I don’t understand why they can’t find love.  From what I have seen of the previews for other shows, they really are not that different.  It’s all irrational little kids in grown up bodies. 

Now the problem that I see with this.  These shows are glamorized and made to appeal to younger adults.  These young adults see all the glamour and they begin to mimic this irrational behaviour.  So now we have a bunch of people running around who don’t know any better thinking this is the way life really is, and that this behaviour is acceptable.  They think it is okay to lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, be disrespectful, and the list goes on.  You can pretty much insert any bad quality into the list and it wouldn’t be incorrect.  It’s sad to watch our society go down the toilet because of the networks bad decisions to air such garbage.  We are all accountable for our actions and how it affects our society, there is no amnesty for reality shows and the networks that air them. 

As a society we need to re-evaluate our morals and ethics.  We need to start holding ourselves and each other accountable for the roles that we play in a downward spiraling society.  Why can’t there be something on that has morals?  Being wholesome doesn’t have to be boring, but at least put something on the television that has a lesson to it.  Just because it’s called a boob tube doesn’t mean that we all have to become mindless boobs because of the lack of decent programming.   From now on I will stick to my books, that way I won’t have to take a flame torch to my eyes and ears when I am done.  I have now been scarred for life….. anyone know a good priest?  I think I need to repent for watching it.

  In our life time we will come across and meet thousand of different people.  They will all have different opinions of us depending on the circumstances.  Some will like us, some will dislike us, and some will be neutral.  People are very vocal about what they dislike, especially when it comes to their opinions of other people.  It gets even worse when people are involved in social circles where there is a chance of others disagreeing.  When conditions are right and nurtured there will always be gossip that takes place. 

  I have heard so many “bad” things about myself that I lost count.  At first it hurt my feelings and left me wondering what was wrong with me.  People that I cared about were being very vicious and hurtful.   Then I realized something, their feelings and thoughts weren’t my problem.  What they thought of me was actually THEIR problem and not mine.  I try to help everyone that I can as much as I can, but sometimes people just want more than what I am able to do and when I don’t do what they expect of me or what they want, they decide to talk badly. 

  After a hard struggle I decided to adapt the attitude and thought process that it’s their right to think and say whatever they want, it’s just none of my business.  It really has nothing to do with me, it is all them.  I have discovered that with this attitude I can keep my self esteem in tact and avoid further drama and other issues that might arise due to battling it out with their egos. 

  I believe in constructive criticism, but not malicious gossip.  Constructive criticism is when people try to help but not run your life.  When this approach is used there is no name calling or pointing fingers, it usually takes the form of a suggestion and is then left alone.  All the rest I consider malicious gossip. 

  When you know who you are and what you are about it won’t matter what anyone else thinks.  Although it is nice to hear good things about myself from time to time ).  

 

  Growing up I had the utmost reverence for the name of God, now when I hear it I tend to run the other direction as fast as I can.  I use to believe that christians were people who would help you when you were in need, but now I see that isn’t the truth.  I can’t even count how many times I have been run over, stabbed in the back, and taken advantage of by christians.  I guess they believe that I am suppose to turn the other cheek when they mess me over. 

  It is so sad to know how much of a wedge that religion has driven between people.  It has become more of a pissing contest between different religions who believe they are right and all others are wrong.  It’s sad to know that most of the bloodshed that has happened and still is, is because of religion.  I just can not see what good it does.  No one who claims to be good religious people live what they believe.  They would rather shove it down each others throats. 

  I was thinking about it today, and I was amused at this thought.  Bear with me for a few minutes to explain.  I was thinking of how we all come from the same place, and we all have the same creator.  When we die, I believe we will all return to where we came from.  Now here is where I found it a bit funny.  Compared to how long the earth has been around, we are only here for a short while.  I believe that we all have a purpose for being here, and lessons to learn from our existence on this beautiful planet.  So we spend some time here, and perhaps the rest of eternity where we began.  Why the hell would anyone want to live their whole lives debating about where we come from and which religion is right and who is wrong when in a short time all of those questions are going to be answered any way?  What is the whole point.  It’s like taking a vacation from work just to bring your laptop and everything with you just to do more work while your on holiday.  I feel that the whole debate is a waste of time, and we are throwing away our “vacation time”.  We are fighting when we should be learning. 

  I do believe that there is a creator.  It’s right to help out anyone who needs it.  It’s right to be kind to each other.  It’s right to take care of our world, after all the world is our classroom and we need to keep it in tip top shape for future students.  It’s right to love each other as if we are all one big family, because in a way we are.  It is wrong of us to hate, judge, kill, condemn, persecute, alienate, etc……… because of a difference of opinion where we come from and whose God is the right one and whose is better.  To me the whole idea seems to be ridiculous. 

  I feel that the best way to live is to be good to each other and love each other.  Don’t waste  the life that we have been given on something that in the end is pointless.  

  It’s funny how when things bug me I start to see and hear about those things all the time.  It’s like a pesky bug that won’t go away.  One of the great things about blogging is that I can write about it and let it go, then the thing that was bugging me usually goes away too. 

  One of the biggest pet peeves that I have is when people insist that they are always right.  I am always wrong in their eyes.  Usually it doesn’t get to me, it’s when they start telling me how I am living my life and what I need to do to change it, that it starts to bother me a bit.  It also bugs me when they make assumptions and insist that they are right, so talking to them is like talking to a brick wall.  They become very childish and ignorant when they act like this.  It is so hard to have any kind of a decent relationship with people like this.  They drive anyone close to them away and then wonder what happened. 

  I don’t know the best way to deal with people like this, it’s especially hard when it’s family.  With anyone else it is easier to walk away and say good bye, and in some cases this is the best way to deal with family as well.  If anyone has the answer please feel free to share!

  The last couple of months have been very busy around our household.  Seems like I just get settled down from one thing and something new pops up that has to be dealt with.  Although at times I am sure that it sounds like I am griping or bitching, this has all taught me a very important lesson.

  In the past when things would happen I would let it get the best of me.  It would get to the point where I would either get so depressed or feel so panicked that I wouldn’t be able to function.  I am happy to know that life does not have to be that way.  I have learned how to “roll with the punches”.  It wasn’t until these last couple of months that I really knew what that meant.  I am finally learning how to laugh at myself and life when things do happen. 

  When things happen I have learned to just let them happen and keep all emotions, thoughts and feelings out of the equation.  Things happen in life, that’s a part of the beauty of it.  It’s not good, it’s not bad, it just is.  When anything is approached in this manner, it is so much easier to deal with.  There isn’t the added stress of emotions that tend to run wild, as a matter of fact there is little stress to begin with. 

  In the last couple of months I have dealt with sick children, the car breaking down, blowing a tire and being stranded on the interstate, and the list goes on and on and on.  I don’t really see any of it being bad, it just is.  I have managed to keep my head about me and deal with the important things instead of having to doctor my own emotional and mental wounds.  It is so much easier that way, not to mention the stress and anxiety levels have went way down.  I do admit that I still have some work to do, but I am happy to find my new “reduced stress” way of life.  Perhaps sometime soon it will be stress free!!  Maybe if I start quacking that will help??

It’s that time of year again.  I have always loved Christmas.  I love the lights, the decorations, the overall feeling in the air.  I love to see the little kids in the stores, how their faces light up with delight when they see all of the pretty decorations, and all the great toys.  They get so excited, and are so cute to watch.   It’s not just about the presents, the decorations, the big dinners,  there is so much more to Christmas.  It is easy to get lost in our own little world of finding the right present, that we forget the real meaning.  I am not even talking about the religious aspect either.

Christmas is about spreading love and joy to each other.  It’s about giving of ourselves.  You don’t have to have a lot of money, some of the best presents don’t cost a thing.  Sometimes a smile or cheerful greeting is one of the nicest things that you can give.  Everyone deserves your love and kindness, not just the people of wealth, or those in your inner circle or of the same religion.  All People, men, women, children, young, old, rich, poor, white, black, even the purple people deserve love and kindness.  We all have hard ships and suffering that we face.  Each and every one of us has our own stories to tell.  They will be different but they will all be tales of suffering.

I have always taught my own children to be color blind.  I have taught them to respect other cultures and other beliefs. This morning when I walked them to the bus stop one of the kids friends came over to walk with them.  Her older sister kept telling her to walk with her, which I can understand.  When we got to the bus stop I heard her older sister tell her that they don’t play with white people.  It was really sad to hear.  It’s sad that people are still teaching their children how to hate different races, religions, and cultures.  It made me think though.  Each and every being on this earth deserves love, peace, and respect.  So from now on I have decided to make a point of being kind to everyone.  Not just the people whom I feel deserve it, but especially those who many would feel are undeserving of love.  Christmas is a great time to start this, but it doesn’t have to end when the holidays do.  I think this is something that we should all do year round.

Merry Christmas my Friends, may you all find peace and joy this holiday season.